so as of Tuesday, January 15, it will be moved to theparentingblog.learnandgrowtogether.com

Please follow us there!!! ...<< MORE >>

Well, it looks like I've been tagged. By Pajohnson~ http://pajohnsonsthisandthat.blogspot.com  

Here are the rules, as given to me by Pajohnson~ http://pajohnsonsthisandthat.blogspot.com

Link to the person who tagged you.
Leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours
Post the rules on your blog
Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post
Include links to their blogs
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random and/or weird facts about me:

1. I am a southern displaced yankee
2. I have been reading since I was 3 (Mostly Beverly Clearly back then)
3. I love to teach children and parents
4. I love to travel
5. I have been to 20 states and Toronto
6. I am a proud member of MUIB and have made many wonderful friends there.
7. I want to become fluent in ASL

You've been tagged:

1. Jenn http://truetalesofaminivanmama.blogspot.com
2. Karen www.pediascribe.com
3. Colleen http://www.mybabyandmore.com/blog
4. Sara http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=607215146
5. Katy http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504837642
6. Beth http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=666007844
7. Angie http://angieskids.blogspot.com ...<< MORE >>

Well, it looks like I've been tagged. By Pajohnson~ http://pajohnsonsthisandthat.blogspot.com  

Here are the rules, as given to me by Pajohnson~ http://pajohnsonsthisandthat.blogspot.com

Link to the person who tagged you.
Leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours
Post the rules on your blog
Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post
Include links to their blogs
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random and/or weird facts about me:

1. I am a southern displaced yankee
2. I have been reading since I was 3 (Mostly Beverly Clearly back then)
3. I love to teach children and parents
4. I love to travel
5. I have been to 20 states and Toronto
6. I am a proud member of MUIB and have made many wonderful friends there.
7. I want to become fluent in ASL

You've been tagged:

1. Jenn http://truetalesofaminivanmama.blogspot.com
2. Karen www.pediascribe.com
3. Colleen http://www.mybabyandmore.com/blog
4. Sara http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=607215146
5. Katy http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504837642
6. Beth http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=666007844
7. Angie http://angieskids.blogspot.com ... << MORE >>

Dear MomsRising Member,

On Father's Day last year we launched FamiliesRising.org, a mirror webspace that provides a venue for Dads, Grandparents, and anyone who doesn't feel Momly to connect with the issues we are working on--because frankly our issues are family issues.  We've got some great Dads and Moms blogging at Families Rising, among them Dana Glazer, Dad and director of "The Evolution of Dad" documentary.  Here is the note he wrote to remind us to make sure that we include our whole family in this movement we are building.

Forward this note on to the men in your life today and invite them to sign on with you at: http://www.momsrising.org/signup

Here's to a great New Year! - Joan

 ---

As a father and a filmmaker, I want to share why it's as important to get fathers involved in this movement as it for moms.

Most dads aren't aware of what's really going on in our culture. They think the issues promoted on MomsRising.org have nothing to do with them - that these are just women's issues.  At the beginning of this past year I started work on a documentary film project about the changing role of fatherhood, titled The Evolution of Dad.  (www.evolutionofdad.com)

Before embarking on the project, I figured that, being a fairly involved dad of two young sons, I must know something about fatherhood. However, looking back, it's amazing how little I really did understand, especially regarding all the different cultural assumptions and messages we're given about what defines a good father. The bottom line is that while our society might say that fatherhood is important, the real underlying message is that dads are better off spending more time at work and less at home.

From my perspective, the only way we're going to create any serious change is by getting dads more aware and more involved in the process. That's why I'm making my film and that's why I'm doing all I can to support Moms and FamiliesRising.  These are issues that affect every one of us. 

What I'm asking from you is to include the men in your life in the conversation about work/family balance as much as possible. Tell them why you became a member of MomsRising.org, why they should become a member of FamiliesRising.org (at http://www.momsrising.org/signup) and share this link: http://www.momsrising.org/familiesrising

Only together, moms and dads united, can change really happen.

Sincerely,

Dana H. Glazer
Director
The Evolution of Dad Feature Documentary Project
www.evolutionofdad.com               

p.s. Check out the great blog posts on FamiliesRising at http://www.momsrising.org/familiesrising 

... << MORE >>

Dear MomsRising Member,

On Father's Day last year we launched FamiliesRising.org, a mirror webspace that provides a venue for Dads, Grandparents, and anyone who doesn't feel Momly to connect with the issues we are working on--because frankly our issues are family issues.  We've got some great Dads and Moms blogging at Families Rising, among them Dana Glazer, Dad and director of "The Evolution of Dad" documentary.  Here is the note he wrote to remind us to make sure that we include our whole family in this movement we are building.

Forward this note on to the men in your life today and invite them to sign on with you at: http://www.momsrising.org/signup

Here's to a great New Year! - Joan

 ---

As a father and a filmmaker, I want to share why it's as important to get fathers involved in this movement as it for moms.

Most dads aren't aware of what's really going on in our culture. They think the issues promoted on MomsRising.org have nothing to do with them - that these are just women's issues.  At the beginning of this past year I started work on a documentary film project about the changing role of fatherhood, titled The Evolution of Dad.  (www.evolutionofdad.com)

Before embarking on the project, I figured that, being a fairly involved dad of two young sons, I must know something about fatherhood. However, looking back, it's amazing how little I really did understand, especially regarding all the different cultural assumptions and messages we're given about what defines a good father. The bottom line is that while our society might say that fatherhood is important, the real underlying message is that dads are better off spending more time at work and less at home.

From my perspective, the only way we're going to create any serious change is by getting dads more aware and more involved in the process. That's why I'm making my film and that's why I'm doing all I can to support Moms and FamiliesRising.  These are issues that affect every one of us. 

What I'm asking from you is to include the men in your life in the conversation about work/family balance as much as possible. Tell them why you became a member of MomsRising.org, why they should become a member of FamiliesRising.org (at http://www.momsrising.org/signup) and share this link: http://www.momsrising.org/familiesrising

Only together, moms and dads united, can change really happen.

Sincerely,

Dana H. Glazer
Director
The Evolution of Dad Feature Documentary Project
www.evolutionofdad.com               

p.s. Check out the great blog posts on FamiliesRising at http://www.momsrising.org/familiesrising 

...<< MORE >>

Raising children is a complicated job. There are times when every parent and caregiver can use some help. There are many books available to parents to help you get through the day-to-day issues you face with your children.

In the vast assortment of books and articles about parenting, you should be able to find ideas for just about any problem or issue you are currently dealing with. Every child is different, and every parent is different. Because of this, there are no cookie-cutter solutions that will work for everyone. I suggest that you review all the solutions you discover and take a few quiet minutes to think about them. Modify the suggestions to best suit your family, and don't be afraid to try out more than one until you discover your best answer.

Keep in mind that following a few important rules will make every situation with your child easier to handle, regardless of which solution you choose to implement. I call these The Perfect Parenting Keys.

Key #1: Take charge.
If your child doesn't clearly understand that YOU are the boss, even minor issues can cause you major headaches. Your first response to this statement may be, "Oh, but my children know who's the boss in our house." You may think they do, but there are many ways we give mixed messages and confuse our kids over this issue. The keys presented here will help you identify the areas where you can make some changes.

The first step to taking charge is simply to give yourself permission to be in charge, and begin expecting your children to obey you.

With this solid foundation you will build a loving, trusting relationship with your children. And, perhaps even more important, you will be able to lead your children into adulthood with values, wisdom and life skills that only a strong, supportive parent can impart.

Key #2: Tell, don't ask.
One popular mistake parents make is asking instead of telling. The way you phrase your words determines whether your children see your request as optional or required. Banish all wishy-washy phrases from your vocabulary.

When you want your child to do something (or stop doing something) make a clear, specific statement that leaves no room for confusion.

Take a look at the difference between these two types of requests:

---

Optional
It would be nice if somebody cleaned up this family room.

Required Steven, please put all the toys back in the playroom. Kyle,please gather the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

---

Optional
Kids, it's getting late, don't you think it's time to get ready for bed?

Required
It's eight o'clock. Time to shut off the TV and put on your pajamas.

---

Optional
I sure wish you'd get down from there.

Required
That's not a place to climb. Please get down.

---

Optional
Gather up your stuff now, okay?

Required
Please get your backpack, jacket and shoes, and get in the car.

---

Key #3: When you say it, mean it. The first time.
Some parents are in the habit of repeating a request over and over and over (and over!) before taking any action to see that a child complies with the request. Do you know anyone like this? (Perhaps intimately?)

Children have radar that tells them exactly when adults really mean what they say, and when they don't. Some parents really mean it only after repeatedly ignored requests. This is usually highlighted by a red face, a tense body, a child's middle name clenched between gnashing teeth, and a fist pounding the table to the tune of, "�and I mean it young man!"

Make yourself a promise to mean what you say - the first time you say it. What this means is that after you've made a clear statement of what is required (see Key #2) you take action. For example, if you call your child in from the yard and he doesn't immediately respond you will have to put forth the extra effort to go out to the yard, take him by the hand and announce, "When I call you I expect you to come."

The beauty of this style is that you only have to "prove" yourself once or twice for your child to understand that, indeed, when you say it you mean it. The first time. (For those with older children who have already learned that they can ignore you the first few times with no repercussions, it may take more "proving" before they believe that you have really changed.

Your children can learn to believe that when you say it you mean it. Hang in there. Be consistent. It's definitely worth the effort.)

Key #4: Be brief and specific.
There is a disease that is rampant among parents. It's called lecture-babble-itis. The most obvious symptom is an emotional run-on sentence that goes on forever, punctuated by highlights of previous award wining monologues. As an example, you send your children upstairs with a polite request to get ready for bed. Half an hour later you discover that they're having a pillow fight.

The parent infected with lecture-babble-itis says, "I sent you kids up here thirty minutes ago to get ready for bed and nobody's even STARTING to get ready and it's after eight o'clock and it's a school night and WHY do we have to go through this EVERY single night couldn't you just ONCE get ready for bed without my getting angry about it and why is this room such a MESS again can't you ever �.." (Is it any wonder why kids roll their eyes?) ...

<< MORE >>

Raising children is a complicated job. There are times when every parent and caregiver can use some help. There are many books available to parents to help you get through the day-to-day issues you face with your children.

In the vast assortment of books and articles about parenting, you should be able to find ideas for just about any problem or issue you are currently dealing with. Every child is different, and every parent is different. Because of this, there are no cookie-cutter solutions that will work for everyone. I suggest that you review all the solutions you discover and take a few quiet minutes to think about them. Modify the suggestions to best suit your family, and don't be afraid to try out more than one until you discover your best answer.

Keep in mind that following a few important rules will make every situation with your child easier to handle, regardless of which solution you choose to implement. I call these The Perfect Parenting Keys.

Key #1: Take charge.
If your child doesn't clearly understand that YOU are the boss, even minor issues can cause you major headaches. Your first response to this statement may be, "Oh, but my children know who's the boss in our house." You may think they do, but there are many ways we give mixed messages and confuse our kids over this issue. The keys presented here will help you identify the areas where you can make some changes.

The first step to taking charge is simply to give yourself permission to be in charge, and begin expecting your children to obey you.

With this solid foundation you will build a loving, trusting relationship with your children. And, perhaps even more important, you will be able to lead your children into adulthood with values, wisdom and life skills that only a strong, supportive parent can impart.

Key #2: Tell, don't ask.
One popular mistake parents make is asking instead of telling. The way you phrase your words determines whether your children see your request as optional or required. Banish all wishy-washy phrases from your vocabulary.

When you want your child to do something (or stop doing something) make a clear, specific statement that leaves no room for confusion.

Take a look at the difference between these two types of requests:

---

Optional
It would be nice if somebody cleaned up this family room.

Required Steven, please put all the toys back in the playroom. Kyle,please gather the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

---

Optional
Kids, it's getting late, don't you think it's time to get ready for bed?

Required
It's eight o'clock. Time to shut off the TV and put on your pajamas.

---

Optional
I sure wish you'd get down from there.

Required
That's not a place to climb. Please get down.

---

Optional
Gather up your stuff now, okay?

Required
Please get your backpack, jacket and shoes, and get in the car.

---

Key #3: When you say it, mean it. The first time.
Some parents are in the habit of repeating a request over and over and over (and over!) before taking any action to see that a child complies with the request. Do you know anyone like this? (Perhaps intimately?)

Children have radar that tells them exactly when adults really mean what they say, and when they don't. Some parents really mean it only after repeatedly ignored requests. This is usually highlighted by a red face, a tense body, a child's middle name clenched between gnashing teeth, and a fist pounding the table to the tune of, "�and I mean it young man!"

Make yourself a promise to mean what you say - the first time you say it. What this means is that after you've made a clear statement of what is required (see Key #2) you take action. For example, if you call your child in from the yard and he doesn't immediately respond you will have to put forth the extra effort to go out to the yard, take him by the hand and announce, "When I call you I expect you to come."

The beauty of this style is that you only have to "prove" yourself once or twice for your child to understand that, indeed, when you say it you mean it. The first time. (For those with older children who have already learned that they can ignore you the first few times with no repercussions, it may take more "proving" before they believe that you have really changed.

Your children can learn to believe that when you say it you mean it. Hang in there. Be consistent. It's definitely worth the effort.)

Key #4: Be brief and specific.
There is a disease that is rampant among parents. It's called lecture-babble-itis. The most obvious symptom is an emotional run-on sentence that goes on forever, punctuated by highlights of previous award wining monologues. As an example, you send your children upstairs with a polite request to get ready for bed. Half an hour later you discover that they're having a pillow fight.

The parent infected with lecture-babble-itis says, "I sent you kids up here thirty minutes ago to get ready for bed and nobody's even STARTING to get ready and it's after eight o'clock and it's a school night and WHY do we have to go through this EVERY single night couldn't you just ONCE get ready for bed without my getting angry about it and why is this room such a MESS again can't you ever �.." (Is it any wonder why kids roll their eyes?) ...

<< MORE >>

Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents.

The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurtur.

"What if something happens to prevent our immediate bonding?"

Sometimes medical complications keep you and your baby apart for a while, but then catch-up bonding is what happens, starting as soon as possible. When the concept of bonding was first delivered onto the parenting scene twenty years ago, some people got it out of balance. The concept of human bonding being an absolute "critical period" or a "now-or-never" relationship was never intended. Birth bonding is not like instant glue that cements the mother-child relationship together forever. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together with your child. Immediate bonding simply gives the parent- infant relationship a headstart

Breastfeeding is an exercise in babyreading. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby's cues, her body language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby. Breastfeeding gives baby and mother a smart start in life. Breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought. Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin, hormones that give your mothering a boost.

A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Babywearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity. 

Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.

A baby's cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby's cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby's needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate.
Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd. This "convenience" parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment. These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.
In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it's easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby – knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no," and having the wisdom to say "yes" to yourself when you need help.

• 
  
• AP is a starter style. There may be medical or family circumstances why you are unable to practice all of these baby B's. Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have – that's all your child will ever expect of you. These baby B's help parents and baby get off to the right start. Use these as starter tips to work out your own parenting style – one that fits the individual needs of your child and your family. Attachment parenting helps you develop your own personal parenting style.
  
• AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.
  
• AP is responsive parenting. By becoming sensitive to the cues of your infant, you learn to read your baby's level of need. Because baby trusts that his needs will be met and his language listened to, the infant trusts in his ...

<< MORE >>

Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents.

The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurtur.

"What if something happens to prevent our immediate bonding?"

Sometimes medical complications keep you and your baby apart for a while, but then catch-up bonding is what happens, starting as soon as possible. When the concept of bonding was first delivered onto the parenting scene twenty years ago, some people got it out of balance. The concept of human bonding being an absolute "critical period" or a "now-or-never" relationship was never intended. Birth bonding is not like instant glue that cements the mother-child relationship together forever. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together with your child. Immediate bonding simply gives the parent- infant relationship a headstart

Breastfeeding is an exercise in babyreading. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby's cues, her body language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby. Breastfeeding gives baby and mother a smart start in life. Breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought. Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin, hormones that give your mothering a boost.

A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Babywearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity. 

Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.

A baby's cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby's cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby's needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate.
Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd. This "convenience" parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment. These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.
In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it's easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby – knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no," and having the wisdom to say "yes" to yourself when you need help.

• 
  
• AP is a starter style. There may be medical or family circumstances why you are unable to practice all of these baby B's. Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have – that's all your child will ever expect of you. These baby B's help parents and baby get off to the right start. Use these as starter tips to work out your own parenting style – one that fits the individual needs of your child and your family. Attachment parenting helps you develop your own personal parenting style.
  
• AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.
  
• AP is responsive parenting. By becoming sensitive to the cues of your infant, you learn to read your baby's level of need. Because baby trusts that his needs will be met and his language listened to, the infant trusts in his ...

<< MORE >>

Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question:

Chemical and hormonal imbalances in the brain
Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system. 5, 9, 11, 16

Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression. 17

One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies. 14.

Dr. Bruce Perry’s research at Baylor University may explain this finding. He found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times. 6

Dr. Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine has demonstrated that the stress hormone cortisol (which floods the brain during intense crying and other stressful events) actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain. In addition, when the portions of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional control are not stimulated during infancy (as may occur when a baby is repeatedly neglected) these sections of the brain will not develop. The result – a violent, impulsive, emotionally unattached child. He concludes that the sensitivity and responsiveness of a parent stimulates and shapes the nerve connections in key sections of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional well-being. 7, 8

Decreased intellectual, emotional, and social development
Infant developmental specialist Dr. Michael Lewis presented research findings at an American Academy of Pediatrics meeting, concluding that “the single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.”

Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills. 19

Dr. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged crying (but not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at 5 years of age. They also showed poor fine motor development. (2)

Researchers at Pennsylvania State and Arizona State Universities found that infants with excessive crying during the early months showed more difficulty controlling their emotions and became even fussier when parents tried to consol them at 10 months. 15

Other research has shown that these babies have a more annoying quality to their cry, are more clingy during the day, and take longer to become independent as children 1.

Harmful physiologic changes
Animal and human research has shown when separated from parents, infants and children show unstable temperatures, heart arrhythmias, and decreased REM sleep (the stage of sleep that promotes brain development). 10 12, 13

Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively. (3) and (4)

1. 
   
2. P. Heron, “Non-Reactive Cosleeping and Child Behavior: Getting a Good Night’s Sleep All Night, Every Night,” Master’s thesis, Department of Psychology, University of Bristol, 1994.
   
3. M R Rao, et al; Long Term Cognitive Development in Children with Prolonged Crying, National Institutes of Health, Archives of Disease in Childhood 2004; 89:989-992.
   
4. J pediatrics 1988 Brazy, J E. Mar 112 (3): 457-61. Duke University
   
5. Ludington-Hoe SM, Case Western U, Neonatal Network 2002 Mar; 21(2): 29-36
   
6. Butler, S R, et al. Maternal Behavior as a Regulator of Polyamine Biosynthesis in Brain and Heart of Developing Rat Pups. Science 1978, 199:445-447.
   
7. Perry, B. (1997), “Incubated in Terror: Neurodevelopmental Factors in the Cycle of Violence,” Children in a Violent Society, Guilford Press, New York.
   
8. Schore, A.N. (1996), “The Experience-Dependent Maturation of a Regulatory System in the Orbital Prefrontal Cortex and the Origen of Developmental Psychopathology,” Development and Psychopathology 8: 59 – 87.
   
9. Karr-Morse, R, Wiley, M. Interview With Dr. Allan Schore, Ghosts From the Nursery, 1997, pg 200.
   
10. Kuhn, C M, et al. Selective Depression of Serum Growth Hormone During Maternal Deprivation in Rat Pups. Science 1978, 201:1035-1036.
    
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